long, necromonarchs, mayhem 

It's 0300 UTC, 2am BST and someone's bringing the watch officer on duty coffee.


"Please tell me that we've bedded down Her Majesty for all time and there are no thaumatic traces to deal with."

They hand the watch officer a tablet with a CCTV feed running.

"Spearphished a member of the Royal Household with a buffer overflow in a TikTok video three months ago. Once they had the phone they took their time worked their way up to the cameras at Windsor."

long, necromonarchs, mayhem 

"And the camera observing the Wand of Office?"

"Compromised, for 3 seconds," they point out a marker on the video timeline which the watch officer scrubs to.

The video captures a brief, chaotic burst where the Royal Marines guarding the Wand of Office appear to fold in on themselves, a figure grabs the thin, wooden staff, replacing it with a duplicate, and the marines, reappear, seeming unaware of what has happened.


long, necromonarchs, mayhem 

The video plays on a few seconds, and a member of the House Guards in dress uniform walks into view, is searched by one of the marines (who are in battle dress) while the others hold weapons on them.

To their credit, the House Guard soldier does not flinch.

The marine who searched them hands them the Wand of Office, the others' guns still trained on them.

long, necromonarchs, mayhem 

"And the Lord Chamberlain?"

"Fooled long enough that he didn't send the code for a compromised artifact until five minutes ago."

"Do we know where the Wand is?"


"Then tell the Marines they may have to put down the Queen again."

long, necromonarchs, mayhem 

This was inspired through learning that the Lord Chamberlain must destroy the deceased monarch's wand of office and bury it with them.

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